Sometimes the bane of a retail worker’s life is not actually the customers. It’s not colleagues, or even management. It’s the handheld computer.
The handset. The PDA. The scanner. The Zebra. The Symbol. The Telexon. The gun. Whatever your company calls it, it’s that small electrical device that is essential for the running of the shop, but that there are never enough of to go around.
How many times do you have a quick ten minute job to carry out, but you first have to spend an hour trying to get your hands on the bit of technology you need to do do it.
Reduce a box of short dated stock. Check a few SELs. Remap a mod. Correct some stock levels. None of these should first require the detective skills of Sherlock Holmes to track down a spare handset or need the negotiating skills of a Wall Street corpo lawyer to borrow one when someone is on their lunch break.
| In a just world, the negotiating skill to borrow a PDA from someone when they’re done with it should be an absolute green flag in an interview for a job that requires the art of deal-making. |  |
But let’s say you don’t need to barter with the PDA cabal and you go into the office and there’s actually more than one there! They’re not even sat next to the charging stand, they’re actually on charge, green batteries and everything. So which do you pick? Because obviously not all handsets are created equal.
You’ve more chance of finding an actual unicorn than a handset that has nothing wrong with it. Choosing which one to pick up is a matter of weighing up which affliction you’ll be least irritated by for the day.
Here are a few common issues
- Cracked screen - can’t see the display properly, but for some reason the touchscreen works perfectly
- Perfect looking screen - except there’s a dead area on the touchscreen in an incredibly irritating place, like 0 or 1
- Missing strap - sometimes a bonus depending on design
- Broken strap (so it flops around and gets in the way)
- Barcode scanner doesn’t work - so you have to key in every number
- Doesn’t have sound so you have to keep checking if your scan has registered
- Has sound but no volume control so every time you scan something, it sounds like an HGV reversing
- Missing/broken battery cover fastenings - held together with rubber bands/tape which need replacing every time you switch out the battery
- The one that works perfectly for four hours and then randomly loses connection and takes an hour of rebooting make it work again. Then it’s perfectly fine
- Want one with the stylus attached? No chance
 All on charge, ready for the next person
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You should really pretend the shop handset is yours and and treat it accordingly - unless you’re one of those people who always has a broken phone screen, in which case do the exact opposite of whatever you do normally |
Honestly, never mind work life separation, just give me an app on my own phone. At least then it will be my fault if there’s no charge and it might even come in handy when I want to check if something’s in stock on my day off.
So let’s work together to keep our handsets working
- Press the screen/buttons gently. Despite being designed to be used in an accident-rich environment, these devices are generally pretty fragile. Sure, they’ll probably have some military-grade looking case to protect them from a drop on the floor, but there will always be a design flaw that is only discovered after near constant use. There will be a button that wears out or just plain falls off and goes missing (often something important like Power) and then you’ll have to jab the contacts with a pen and pray to the retail gods for the thing to turn on
- Don’t leave it on the shop floor unattended. If it doesn’t get stolen it’ll get broken or just plain lost. Ever been sorting a rubbish cage and there’s a random £700 handset in among the cardboard that nearly went in the skip? Never mind the cost, you’re making your colleagues lives even more miserable if you lose one.
- Always put it on charge when you’re not using it. There’s a special place in hell for people who don’t do this. And make sure it’s actually charging. Properly seated in the cradle, charging light flashing. Don’t make the rookie error or putting it in a charger that’s not actually plugged in.
| Pro-tip: Make friends with the handset whisperer. Every shop will have this person. If it’s not you, make friends with them. You’ve rebooted the thing ten times and it still won’t work but give it to this person and through some sort of mystical power, they will revive even the most dead device into something that will get the job done. When you ask what they did, they will probably have a quiet chuckle to themselves and tell you it was just the magic touch. They may not be joking. They are a necromancer. |
 Loadout for the Call of Duty generation
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Do you relate to these frustrations? Let us know in the comments, but don’t even get started on label printers!
